Memories of moments spent feeding a new baby throughout the night will make any mother nostalgic, perhaps with a mixture of emotions, for a time that is seemingly not-so-long-ago. That feeling of love in the moonlight resonates with many of us.
As special as this time is, it is equally as difficult, and perhaps this aspect is not talked about as much.
This time spent feeding provides us new mums with a lot of time to think. For some, the hours are filled with cuddles and love and awe at what they have created, with a few hours spent bingeing Netflix. But in addition to this, I personally also spent a lot of time with anxious thoughts -
I don’t know what I’m doing…
Why is she crying so much?
Is she just hungry?
…or is she cold?
…or wet?
…or in pain?
Is it normal to question everything I do?
Am I supposed to feel like this?
... and so on and so forth.
Even with a supportive husband and family, nothing could shake the daunting feeling of loneliness and despair. Little did I know at the time just how common Perinatal Mental Illness is and what the symptoms were. I’d heard of baby blues but Post Natal Depression and Anxiety (PNDA) was quite taboo (at the time) and the symptoms didn’t present themselves to me in the way it appeared in the TV campaign that was running at the time (this ad still brings me to tears when I watch it, even now).
I loved my baby, I didn’t want anyone to think I didn’t, nor did I want anyone to think I was unfit to parent. The stigma associated with PNDA felt very real to me and so I carried on without getting help and nobody really knew how much I was struggling.
“Up to 1 in 5 women experience anxiety and/or depression during pregnancy, and/or following birth.”
With so many mothers (and fathers) struggling in silence, I decided that someday I wanted to do something to help new mothers, but at the time I wasn't quite sure what. I just knew that I didn't want my daughter to struggle like I did, in silence.
Mothers (and all parents) have an incredibly important role in society to uphold, and in my opinion, it is often not given the recognition or support that it is deserving of. Because if mothers are well, then families are well. And if families are well, then our children are well and society as a whole will benefit now and in the future.
I wish I had help along the way with the little things to improve my stress levels and worry less. What do I buy for recovery, breastfeeding and the hospital bag and what isn’t worth it? Will I be able to breastfeed and what might help me to be able to? What will recovery be like and what might help me be more comfortable and stress less?
I can’t pretend that I will be able to answer all of these questions for you through Love In The Moonlight, but I can try my best to help where I can - by curating gift sets for pregnancy and early Motherhood that are useful, thoughtful, beautiful, mama-approved, ethical, environmentally conscious and available at inclusive price points.
And if you or someone you know might need help, you are not alone and there is always help available. My biggest regret during my first year postpartum with my first born was that I spent 10 months suffering in silence before I finally went to the GP and got help. That was 10 months of my daughter's life that I spent suffering and I can’t get a re-do. But I can try my best to remove the stigma, talk about my experience and through sharing, hopefully encourage others to seek help early.
Some helpful resources -
https://gidgetfoundation.org.au/
Always with Love,
Avril
