Luiza and I have been friends for years. So it didn’t really surprise me when she was so open with sharing her IVF journey with her friends, family and colleagues earlier this year. In fact, I found it refreshing. After all, it is such a consuming process, it makes complete sense to gather support from your biggest cheerleaders - your nearest and dearest. In the spirit of sharing, I sat down with Luiza to chat about her experience undergoing Reciprocal IVF with her wife, Katie.
What were the options you considered when you and your partner decided you wanted to grow your family?
We considered adoption and IVF, two very different journeys. We ended up deciding to go through IVF first - and adopt later on -, as our chances of getting pregnant decrease over time.
We decided to go through reciprocal IVF; this means that I will carry an embryo formed by my partner's egg and a donor's sperm.
Why did you choose the path that you did?
Reciprocal IVF gives us the chance to share the process, physically and emotionally. Both, my wife and I, went through medical procedures - Katie to produce and extract the eggs, and myself to prepare my uteros and get the embryo implanted.
It feels very special to be able to gestate and nurture my wife's biological child.
What was the process up until the implantation of an embryo?
It's a loooong one! we started our process almost one year ago. At first, we went through a series of health exams for the specialists to evaluate our chances of getting pregnant through reciprocal IVF; following that we both started taking 'the pill' (contraceptive pills), to sync our cycles.
In the meantime, we spent a very long time looking for the 'perfect' sperm donor. This was the most time consuming part of our fertility journey, as Australia has very restrictive rules around sperm and egg donations - which makes the list of candidates quite slim.
It took us at least 6 months to find a suitable donor and get the sperm transferred from the bank - in California - to our fertility clinic.
Katie then started medication to increase egg production, while I took progesterone and estrogen to thicken my endometrio lining and guarantee a successful transfer. Katie went through surgery, to get her eggs removed.
My wife's eggs were inseminated with our donor's sperm, and the embryo was freshly transferred to my uterus.
What were the costs involved?
Our process was quite expensive, we paid a little bit over $20K to the fertility clinic - for 2 cycles and genetic tests.
A portion of these costs is covered by medicare, based on each patient's health conditions (i.e.: endometriosis, PCOS...). This is determined by medical advice.
What was the hardest part of your IVF journey?
To be honest, there was a lot.
Getting used to medications and side effects + and injecting. My wife hates needles so I had to inject her stomach for 14 days and that was really nerve racking.
I had a few trips to the hospital after I started taking one of my meds, due to the side effects that the medication had on me (intense migraines). The days I spent in hospital were particularly stressful for me because on top of the migraines, Katie couldn't come to the hospital to visit me (as it was in the middle of Covid restrictions) causing me a lot of anxiety.
Katie had Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome throughout the egg stimulation process and suffered from severe pain and bloating prior to removing the eggs via surgery.
Any tips or recommendations to share that might help others on this journey?
My first tip is: Buy a printer! You will have to sign loads of papers throughout this journey, and the need to be printed, signed and scanned (digital signatures are not allowed).
Sharing the journey with close friends and family was also very important for us both, as you go through a myriad of emotions. There was never a dull moment in our fertility journey.
Don't be put off by the ups and downs of the journey, there are many lessons to be learned along the way, so strap in for the ride!
